October 23, 2008
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I will Praise Him even now as I ache..
Tonight has been a very hard night.
I miss Hope horribly.
Another of those "waves of emotions" has swept me over.
I will not be MOVED though.
I have cried, cried and cried some more.
My little ones have held onto Mommy and comforted me as I could not compose myself for a few minutes.
I hugged them and held onto them telling them how precious they are to me.
Just as they were holding onto me and hugging me, I know my GOD was holding me as well.
I cried out to Him, "Hold me, Jesus, please hold me."
I choose to PRAISE HIM, LOVE HIM, LIFT HIM UP, and CRY OUT TO HIM because I know He cares. I know He hears my cries, He feels my pain, He's there.. right there inside me, right there holding me.
I couldn't make it otherwise. I couldn't get through this night any other way.
Please pray for me. I am so weak and broken hearted.
I know He is strong and I know I am in His loving arms.
As I began to feel His comfort I began to calm down... but my heart is still aching.
How can a mother come to grips with the fact that she may only see one of her children twice a year.
Soooooo many miles, so many hours between us...
yet my heart feels so close to her.. I'm her mother, I gave birth to her, there's that connection only a mother can understand with no explanation.
I am going to bed... and I am not going to cry myself to sleep - I am going to PRAY myself to sleep.
Please pray with me, for me. I would be so grateful.
A sad, heart broken Mommy hanging on to Jesus, Cassidy
Comments (6)
'hanging on to Jesus.' There you have it. Hugs to you.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. He is holding you and there for you!
I am glad to hear such a positive tone in your voice Cassidy
Keep praying and looking up
I will be praying for you, peace, comfort and love from Jesus Christ, our loving Father. Bless you sweetie, ~Amelia
Wouldn't it be so much easier if we could actually see Father God holding onto us in these emotional times...I know sometimes it sure would be easier for me!! Does Hope have access to a computer? Would it be possible for you guys to get a Webcam to put on yours and her computer so that you could at least see each other more often if not in person? Just an idea. I am hoping to get one again, I had one once upon a time, but it sure is nice to be able to see my parents who I only get to see once a year. I hope the new day has brought you a lightness of heart today.
i am so sorry cass ~hugs~